A Reason To Blog About This

People blog about all sorts of things.....so I guess I don't really NEED a reason. Buy I had to do this as my outlet. My journal on the most difficult, painful, yet liberating experience of my life. I hear myself journaling in my head and I finally figured I should put my thoughts and feelings into words. Writing is time consuming and I have tried journaling that way and I always neglect the journal after a couple of days. Typing is a bit faster but I figured what better way to reach out to others and share with them MY experience in divorce than through blogging? I don't know if anyone will ever read this.....and it really doesn't matter. The release is for me and I have no doubt that it will be helpful in my journey through divorce.

To sum it up, my husband and I have been separated for four months. We are signing the filing papers for the divorce in two days but are still working out the settlement agreement. We have been married for 11 years, have four beautiful children, and we separated seven years ago and got back together. There will not be a reconciliation this time and I will get to those reasons on another post.

Our marriage hasn't been a pretty picture.....but there have been some good times and our children always gave us a reason to stay together. My husband and I are amicable. There have been, and I am sure there will be more, times when things have been pretty rough. The kids are seemingly doing pretty well but my youngest does seem to suffer the most. I think going back and forth between homes is tough on her....for all of them. I do all I can to keep a sense of normalcy for them at my house and I think that helps considerably.

I will not use this site as a forum to bash my husband. I don't think he is a bad guy.....just not the husband that I need. And I guess I am not the wife he needs. I finally realized that I could not change him. The only person I could change was myself and that led me to a divorce.

If you read this blog....maybe you will be able to relate to what I have to say, maybe you can relate to my experiences...or maybe it will just give you hope that divorce isn't the end of the world. Because it isn't. I thought it was at one point, but my life is going on and it is not over. That alone gives me hope.